VACATION!!!!

This coming sunday I am finally going on a small vaction for about a week, GEEZ!!! Its about damn time!!! I havent been on one since I was a junior in high school!!!I cant wait, I am so excited!!! It will be so much fun to go boating with the family, go to vegas and just hang out by the pool with Paityn. This will be her very first vacation so that is another huge reason that i am sooo excited to go!!! I want to be able to take her on a vacation every summer and to make sure that she has awesome memories and fun times with her family! I need this so bad!!!!!!!!!!!! The last couple have months have been super hard and rough and this is just what i need to take some time to think about everything. I am so thankful for all my awesome friends and family who have helped me out through out all of this!!! I will let you know how the vacation goes when i get back!!!

Paityns Picture Day

I took Paityn to get her pictures taken today and I have to say that I think they turned out extremely cute!!! I was a little nervous about weather or not she woud be good and cooperate with whoever got the lucky job of snapping the pictures of the little spit fire, But just the same she was awesome!!!! She ate it up and loved every min of it!! Paityn thought that she was a princess, Which she was and is. She posed and cheesed and hammed it up quiet like I have never seen before!! All in all she was an angel and I was so proud of her for being suh a big girl and cooperating with us all day!!!! I LOVE YOU baby girl and I am so thankful that I am lucky enough to be able to be the one who is raising you!!! I will post the pictures as soon as we get them back!!

This pretty much sucks worse than anything!!

Well to make a very long and painful story short the wedding is now off. No I am not going to go into detail becasue honestly it makes me so phsically sick to think about I throw up. I feel betrayed, embarassed, hurt, shocked and annoyed!!! But at the same time I know that he is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and if he needs more time, well then he can have it and I will wait until he is ready. But I cant keep doing this, If this is how things are going to continue to be I dont know how much longer I will be able to hold on honestly. It sucks because he is my best friend and the one person that while I was gone I wanted to talk to more than anyone. I am so thankful for my amazing sister and her unconditional love and support and being the one person that I know I can always cry on her shoulder and that her door is always open to Paityn and I. So for now we are going to try to smooth out the rough patches of our realtionship and continue to move forward the best that we can without breaking up all together. I would rather fight and argue with my best friend and love of my life than settle and fight with someone I dont reall care about. I also am dreading all the people that are still expecting us to be married in June and all the questions that I will be asked. I am not strong enought to handle it over and over again. That is going to be equally as hard as the original problem :( like I said, This sucks!!!

Just an update or 2

Ok just to let everyone know whats been going on, We set the wedding date for June 19th. Yes I am very much aware of how fast that is coming up. I feel a little overwhelmed with it all but we already have the depoist down for the decorations and the photographer. We are going this Saturday to look for a wedding dress, We are going to 2 different shops to try to find one. Hopefully we are lucky and can find one that I love without it going over my mom's budget that she has given me. Ummm lets see.......... What else is there, Oh I started school last week and so far so good. I am having a little bit of a hard time getting back into the swing of things. But I know that I do not want to be stuck at RC Willey for the rest of my life so this is the only way that I can really do what I feel passionate about. So I am going to give it all I have while still trying to get everything planned for our wedding, making sure I still spend lots of time with my precious little girl and continuing to work on my relationship with Jake. LOTS and LOTS going on right now. But I guess I cant really complain to much. I am so thankful for all of my many many blessings and all the wonderful people that I have in my life!!!! I love you all please continue to be paitent with me over the next couple months!!!

WE ARE ENGAGED!!!!!

So today Paityn and I were planning on going down to Jake's to spend the day and make dinner. Well right as I was getting ready to leave Jake text me and asked if it would be a possibility to have my mom watch Paityn for a little while, So I asked and my mom said that that was fine and she would. So I went down there and after a long time of digging through the snow, We are engaged!!!! Im so excited I cant even stand it!!! Yes I did say digging through the snow, Jakes dog got to the ring box right before he went to propose and she ate the box and lost the ring in the snow out back!!! Luckily after some digging we found it!!! It was stressful but oh so worth it!!! I can't wait to become Mrs. Jake Limburg!!!!!!!!!!!! He is my best friend and is so patient and loving!!! I am so very lucky to have found this amazing man to spend my life with!!!!

Ahhh Mr. Darcy

So really does it get better than the end of Pride and Prejudice when Mr. Darcy comes walking through the foggy field and his coat blowing back behind him, with that confident I am going to get what I want swagger going on!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH NO!!!! I dare say it does not get any better then that, Well ok maybe it does when he tells that you have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love you!!!!! (sigh) I must say that I am a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE fan of Fitzwillam Darcy!!! Best part is that I dont even mind that he has such a crazy first name!!! All I know for sure is that they just do not make guys like this anymore that is for sure!!!!!

one more thing!!!

Check out my new "warm weather" playlist!!!! especially number 2 Fairy Tale by Blue October!!! It is amazing and I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! All these songs make me feel happy to go along with the warm weather!!!