This pretty much sucks worse than anything!!

Well to make a very long and painful story short the wedding is now off. No I am not going to go into detail becasue honestly it makes me so phsically sick to think about I throw up. I feel betrayed, embarassed, hurt, shocked and annoyed!!! But at the same time I know that he is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and if he needs more time, well then he can have it and I will wait until he is ready. But I cant keep doing this, If this is how things are going to continue to be I dont know how much longer I will be able to hold on honestly. It sucks because he is my best friend and the one person that while I was gone I wanted to talk to more than anyone. I am so thankful for my amazing sister and her unconditional love and support and being the one person that I know I can always cry on her shoulder and that her door is always open to Paityn and I. So for now we are going to try to smooth out the rough patches of our realtionship and continue to move forward the best that we can without breaking up all together. I would rather fight and argue with my best friend and love of my life than settle and fight with someone I dont reall care about. I also am dreading all the people that are still expecting us to be married in June and all the questions that I will be asked. I am not strong enought to handle it over and over again. That is going to be equally as hard as the original problem :( like I said, This sucks!!!