alone

How do i get you ALONE, Oh how i love this song by heart!!! every year on american idol one of the power house girls with amazing voices sings it and it always reminds me just how freaking awesome of a song it truely is!!! I love it!!! And the girl that sang it on Wednesday was the first one that was put into the top 12 for their night!!! She was awesome and she is only 16!! Wow if i could sing like that my life would be a musical, Poor Jake hates American idol but he was a good sport and sat there and pretended to be interested in it!!! He is so dang cute!!! Anyways i just had to make a little comment on how freakingly awesome and amazing this song truely is!!! And if for some awful reason you have never heard it!!! Look it up and listen to it!!!! Soooooooooooo worth it!!

Not my day!!!

So I pretty much hate everything about today!!!! If I could quit or resign from life I would put in my resignation letter today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I hate my left side!!! It always hurts so dang bad!!!! Work was long and I could not get out of there fast enough, Then dont even get me going on all the issues Jake and I seem to be having at the moment but I'm beyond sick of them too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont get me wrong I love him with all my heart but lately its just not working like we both know it can and it is getting beyond OLD!!!!!! Things had been going so so so so good and I was starting to think and hope that we were back on track!! oh wait nope sorry my bad that's me getting ahead of myself and getting my hopes up once again!!!! Silly, silly, stupid girl!!!! (thats me for ya!!!) Then to top it off my sister who we all know I adore and love so very much got some bad news today and that has me even more bummed out then before I got home!!!! I miss her, so maybe I will have to take an adventure up there to see her in the next day or two since I have them both off. Anyways lets hope that tomorrow will be better than today!!! And surely not worse!!!!!!

if i were a boy........

I think i could understand.......

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

but your just a boy.... and you dont understand.............

Back to school!!!

So after taking a 9 month break from school (one that i never should have taken in the first place!!!!) I have finally got my butt back into gear and called my enrollment counselor and set up an appointment for next Wednesday with him to go get back into school!!! Hurray!!! I have been having such a hard time trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up, I love psychology and everything that it involves and thats what i had originally been taking classes for before i quit. But lately I have had a case of the "I dont want to get my masters, it takes way to long itis" yes I know it's a very serious disease!!! So i was trying to think of some other career that doesnt take to much brain power or schooling, and then it hit me!! I'll be a High School teacher!!! Now dont get me wrong im not saying that just anyone can be a teacher (trust me many of the teachers i had in high school should have reconsidered their job choice!!) or that you are not smart by choosing to be one!! All I am saying is that it takes what 2 maybe 3 years to become a teacher..... ok maybe 4. But still thats a heck of a lot quicker than getting my masters right!? WRONGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! the school that I plan on attending does not offer a secondary education degree in the bachelors program!!! You still have to get a masters!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!! I cant escape it!! So do you wanna know what I did? Well I will tell you, I let my very short lived dream of becoming a high school teacher die out quite quickly(it was a very tearful and heart wrenching goodbye!!) and asked my enrollment counselor to get me set back up to do the psychology route!!! Shoot I figure if I have to get my Masters degree either way then it's going to be in something that I love and find interesting!!! So wish me luck over the next couple weeks as I try my best to get back into the swing of things!!!

Weddings, weddings, weddings..............

So today my brother Spencer is getting remarried, it's been kind of an adjustment to get use too. He got a divorce from his first wife and we all loved her to death but when its not there its just not there and no matter how hard they tried (oh and they did try for 6 years to make it work) it just was not going to work. They were like best friends who lived with each other and tolerated the other one for the most part or so it seemed to our family. But now he has met someone that he loves very much and they seem to be really happy together. She is a super sweet and nice women and i think or at least really hope that it works out for the two of them and that they can spend the rest of their lives together! No one deserves more to be happy than Spencer, he is so good and kind and just needs a little affection shown to him and he will be the happiest person alive. So i wish them good luck on their new adventure and hope for the best!! I just pray that i will never have to be in that situation myself where i am divorced or worse a widow. I really dont think that i would ever want to remarry! Because that involves dating, and let me tell you how much i love the dating scene hahaha. Thankfully i have Jake, and he has told me that i'm not going anywhere without a fight from him :) So i guess i am set for the rest of my life! THANK GOODNESS!!!

My life would suck without you!!

Ok so valentines day is coming up and all so everyone will be posting something sweet and nice about their significant others. Well heres the thing, i HATE valentines day probably more than any other holiday that there is. So i figured i would be ahead of the curve for once and post mine today!! So i thought that maybe i would write some of the things that i love the very most about Jake and just make a little list, So here goes..........................

* You are my best friend and the one person i truely turn to when im upset or sad or mad. It doesn't matter what the situation you are always there and willing to listen and give me advice and i love it!!
*You adore my daughter as if she were your own. I know that the plan is that she will be yours after we get married. You have no idea how much that means to me, that you not only have taken me in and loved me so unconditionally but that you have done the same for paityn!!
*You are my dork! I absolutely love it, you make me laugh so hard and i love when we can be playful and joke around with each other.
*You wont ever let me leave mad, as much as i hate it in that moment im always so thankful that you make me stay and work everything out with you!!
*You are without a doubt one of the most thoughtful and selfless people i have ever met, you constantly are always doing nice sweet things for me.
*As much as i complained about it in the beginning, I love how much you want to be next to me or holding my hand or rubbing my leg. It still bugs me every now and then but in the end i truely love it!!
* I love that you pretend to be interested in all the wedding plans and how you always tell me that you like my ideas or think that something will look good!!

Ok so this is a very short list of some of the many reasons that i love you, But i have a very impatient Paityn who is ready to come down and see you right now!! So i just want to tell you Jake that i love you with all my heart. You mean the world to me and i am so lucky to have you as my best friend and future husband!! its the best feeling ever!!