For Melissa

So my dear and darling sister Melissa informed me today that I needed to update my blog and that I was boring.... Oh so sorry!!! I mean its not like I dont have enough going on between work, school, trying to plan a wedding by october and still managing to be a mom and a girlfriend right!!?? Oh well my days are definately a little busy to be on here every day updating you on my life!!! Not that there is much new to share as it is anyways.. Douglas and I are planning on getting married on October 9th!!! So needless to say there is alot to be done between now and then!!! I will do my best to get on here and keep you all updated so that I am not "boring" as Melissa told me I am!!! :) But for now that is all that I have to say!!

and so her story begins.................

For so long I have set myself up to fail at the relationships that I had been in. It was so much easier for me to do rather than open up and give 100% percent of myself to someone, If I was expecting or waiting for it to fail or for something to go wrong then it always seemed not to hurt as much..... But I am not happy, I have ended up alone and hurt and confused wondering what had happened to get me where I was and left me feeling like I was never good enough for the person that I had been in the previous relationship with. Well this has all come to a screeching halt!!!! As I was driving to school last night it finally hit me and I finally realized and saw what I had been doing to myself and my relationships, I have come to the point where I dont want to play the game anymore and I definately am over being hurt!!! For the first time in seven years I am ready and willing to give my whole and complete self to the awesome and amazing guy that I have been dating!!! He is soooo good to me and I could not ask for more!!! He loves me for me, flaws and all and doesnt expect or want me to change who I am!!! This is such a good feeling, and I can honestly say that I am truely and the most genuinely happy that I have ever been in a relationship!!!! Its so good to know that this actually exists!!! I just pray that I can make this work and will not do anything to screw this up because I can honestly say that I never want to be without him!!!!! It had been so hard to let go of what Jake and I had, but I had to do it!!! Our relationship was not a healthy one and I can safely say that I am glad that chapter of my life is over and shut once and for all!!!! This is not a new chapter in my life that I am starting, This is a whole new book and I cant wait to see the ending in this one!!!!!!!