Merry Christmas!

I hope that all of you were able to have a very merry Christmas!! Our first Christmas as a family was a good one!! We woke Paityn up around 7:30 and she tried to ignore me for a min, until I said Merry Christmas Pait. Then she shot out of bed and declared that she wanted to open all of her presents. I must say that she made out pretty dang good for such a little girl! Tons and tons of toys and clothes. Douglas and I had a great day as well! I love the holidays but will be glad when they are over because this means that we are that much closer to moving back home and being closer to our families and friends. I love you all and hope you had a great day everyone!!

The end is near!!!!!!!!

Ok first off no I have not lost my mind and am trying to predict the end of the world, I am however saying that there is an end in sight of us living out here in this ever so lovely town of Wendover!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!! Oh I have never been so excited to leave somewhere before in my entire life!!! The date that we can move is the 8th of January!!!! Now we just need to find somewhere to live up north so that we wont be homeless haha :) I probably wouldnt even mind if it meant that we could be out of here!!!!

Babies

There is nothing more precious or perfect than a new born baby! Last night my family was blessed with another baby, My brother Cortney and his wife Ashlee had their third little girl Mallory. I am so excited for them, and so excited to meet her!! My mom said that she is absolutely beautiful, lots and lots of black hair which is weird for their kids since their kids usually dont have hair until they are about 2. Ash is a trooper and always does so good with having babies, mom said that rught after Mallory was born she could hear Ashlee in the room giggling! I dont know many women that are laughing or giggling right after they give birth. So I just wanted to say congrats to them and that I cant wait to see her!!

Going Home

Today I am thankful for being able to go home and visit family and friends!! Paityn has told me every day for the last month that her mema and papa miss her and that she missed them and that she needed to go to Bear River to see them!! So today we are going to go to Bear town to see them for a week, Douglas will be there Sunday night since he has to work Saturday and Sunday. He will get to stay until after Thanksgiving dinner and then he will have to come back! It will be so nice for all of us to be able to get out of Wendover for a couple days!!

melissa

Since it has been a couple days since I have posted I thought I would get on here tonight and say that I am thankful today for a person that has always been there for me no matter what, someone who I consider to be one of my very best friends ever!! My beautiful and awesome sister Melissa!!! She is the best sister that anyone could ever ask for!!! She has always been so good to me, no matter what might be going on in her life she has always had an open door and open couch for me!! I cant count all the times that I have had to run away for the weekend or just whenever and she has more than willingly let me come sleep on her couch and eat her food!!! She has always been willing to help me with paityn when I might have needed someone to watch her. She has always been more than willing to pass down Tess's clothes that she grows out of. ( Tess is a very well dressed child and lets just say I have totes and totes full of clothes!!) Melissa is so giving and caring. She helps without expecting anything in return and is honestly the closest thing to a saint that I have ever met!!! I love you Melissa!!! Thank you for not only being my best friend but also the best sister anyone could ever ask for!!!

Blessings

Today I am thankful for the gospel and all of the many blessings that come with it! I am thankful for the knowledge that there is a way for Douglas and I to be sealed in the temple with our little Paityn for eternity! To have the knowledge that I will be able to be with not only my little family but my entire family for forever! They are the best family in the world and I am so greatful that I was sent to them and was blessed with the best parents ever and also the best siblings anyone could ever ask for!! They truely are all amazing and great people!! I love them all more than I can even begin to explain. Im thankful for the peace that comes with saying prayers every night with Paityn before she goes to bed and singing her favorite primary songs!!

We have been married for a month already today!!! Where does the time go?? Its crazy to think about sometimes, I love my little family so very much and am soooo very thankful for them. I also am thankful for Doctors and what they do. I have the worst cold that I have ever had!! Its awful I cant breathe and I can barely talk :( I feel like complete crap!! So I am giving in and going to go to the doctor today in hopes that they might be able to give me something!!

Paityn

Today I must talk about my greatest blessing in life!! Her name is Paityn, She is the best little thing ever. She is wild, and noisy, loud and naughty but I love it all about her. She is stubborn and knows exactly what she wants already at the age of three. I am not always paitent with her like I should be but I have really been working on it. She is my best little friend ever and I owe my life to her!!! She has saved me in so many ways and I feel that I will never be fully able to thank her for what she has brought to my life. A love and joy that I never thought was possible!! She makes me laugh and smile quite like no one else can. I love and adore this little girl more than anything on the earth!! I know that no matter what happens in this life I have her and her unconditional love!! So I want to say thank you Paityn, Thank you for loving me and letting me be your mommy!!! I will do my best to make sure that you always have the things that you need and want in life!! I LOVE YOU baby girl!!!

Douglas

My thankful blog today has to be about my wonderful husband!! I have been sick the last couple days and he has taken on helping me take care of Paityn so much! When I woke up this morning he had gotten her in the shower and had her dressed and had braided her hair!!! She looks like a doll!! I was amazed, at how good he could braid! He is so good to us and I am so thankful for him everyday!! I love him so very much and just wanted to take a min to tell him thank you for all that he does for us!!

The Holidays!!

For my thankful post today I have to say that I am thankful for the holidays and all of the fun and happy feelings that come with it!!! This time of year is by far my favorite time, Everything about it makes me just happy! I love the spirit of it all and all the memories that I have from when I was a little kid and all the traditions we had with my families, They were always fun and I loved being able to get together with my aunts and uncles and being able to play with all of my cousins. Another memory that I have and am so thankful for is the memory of my dad taking my sister and I out to dinner right around christmas and then we would go shopping for our mom and we always just had a good time together!! I hope now that I have my own family that I can continue some of these traditions with Paityn and Douglas!!

Thankful

Since this is my absolute favorite time of year I have decided to be a copycat and follow what my sister is doing on her blog every day of this month and post something that I am thankful for that day. Today I am going to post about my mom and the amazing women that she is. She has always been there for me and supported me in whatever weird or random thing that I was interested in in the moment. I have always been able to talk to her about what was going on in my life at the moment. She helped me more than anyone ever could when I had Paityn, She quit her job to stay home with Paityn while I went to work so that I didnt have to find a babysitter for her. I can never tell her thank her enough for everything that she has done for me in my life!! Mom you are the best mom a girl could ever ask for and I will always be so greatful to you for helping me so much!!! Your the best and I love you!!!

Ahhh married life!!!

So we have been married now for a little over 2 weeks and it has been so good!! Its going to take a little while for us all to adjust and get use to all living with each other. Paityn is going to take the longest to adjust, She has had a kind of hard time with being out here and not being able to see her mema and papa every day.. She misses them quite a bit!! She informed me and Doug the other day that we needed to buy her a baby motorcycle and a baby trailer to pull it on, and that she was going to ride it to Bear River to visit her mema and papa and that she would come back home in a couple of days hahaha oh this girl cracks me up the things that she says kill me!! She has become my little shadow out here every where i go she is right there with me, its kinda cute I feel like she needs me finally lol!! But all in all married life is going great and I have the best husband ever!! I am so thankful that he agreed to marry me :)

we are all a little mad.....

We are down to the final stretch of things, No more months or even weeks at this point. Strictly down to days!! 6, well almost 5 of them left until the big day!! I am still a little nervous and scared but in the midst of all the choas and craziness around me I feel at peace about it and am soooo excited to get to spend the rest of my life with the most amazing and wonderful man that I have ever met!! I am so thankful that I thought to email him when I did, He is the perfect match for me in every thing I do and I sometimes cant believe that he actually fell in love with me too... Dont get me wrong I am extremely happy that he did, Its just that it still feels like a dream most of the time and that things shouldnt be this good or this right this easily, But they are and I am loving every min of life right now!!! I get to marry the first guy that I ever had a real crush on growing up and the man that has become my best friend, the person that I tell everything too and know that he is always there for me!! He is my go to person when I have a bad day or something exciting to to tell, He is the person that I am meant to be with for the rest of my life and for eternity!! I simply LOVE this man!! I am so, so blessed to have the little family that I do and I love them more than anything in the entire world! The last week has been insane for me and not to mention more stressful than I would like right now, Mom fell down a week ago today and broke her knee and her finger and 2 knuckles on her hand so I have had to be the one taking care of her while still trying to make sure that everything gets done for this wedding. I dont really mind though, she has taken such good care of me my entire life that its the least that I could do for her. Well this is all that I have to say for know, I will probably not get on again before the wedding but I will get on again as soon as I can...

Soooo close!!!!

Oh my gosh, it seems like it will be forever to get to October 9th, but then in the next instance it seems like it is coming to fast and I cant breathe!! I have felt so overwhelmed the last week or so. I am so excited and I cant wait to be married to Douglas! But I am so nervous that I will suck at being a wife and will let him and Paityn down in some way. We have 18 more days until its official and I must say that I will be so very happy when the day is here and I will no longer have to talk about it or answer questions.. Paityn and I went out to Wendover last week for a week just to see where we were going to be living and meet Dougs friends out there. It wasn't quite as bad as I thought it would be after the initial shock wore off, I must admit though that I was bored out of my mind for the first couple days and cried as well, hopefully once I have all of my books and computer out there I wont be as bored and will be able to keep myself busy. Well thats all for now I will try to get on again before the wedding..

getting there!!!

Wow where has the time gone!!?? August is over, I know this because the fair starts tomorrow and that is the signal of the end to another summer and the beginning to a new school year, and the start of fall!!! I LOVE fall time!! nothing makes me more happy than fall!! The cool crispness of the air and yet its still warm enough when it needs to be!! I love the colors and just the feeling that comes with this time of year, it always makes me so excited because it means that the holidays are soon to be coming not to far behind it!!! Not to mention that our wedding is in 44 more days!! I can not wait!! I am oh so excited to be able to spend the rest of my life with the man who has shown me what true love really is!!! I never really knew until him! I am sooooo thankful for Douglas and the true and unselfish love that he has brought into my life!! He means the world to me and I seriously have no idea how we went so long without being together!! Geez it only took us our whole lives to realize the perfect person for us was 2 blocks away!! Timing is a funny thing if you as me, but I honestly believe with my whole heart that we both had to go through everything we have in the last 10 years since we have been apart to be truely ready for the other and to be able to really appreciate each other!! I can say without a doubt in my mind that we are meant for each other!! He is my other half and the one person in this world that can make me feel complete and whole and not needing one other thing in this world than him and Paityn for the rest of my life!! So thank you Douglas! I cant wait to spend forever with you babe!! Anyways moving right along :) We went and picked up our engagement pictures today and they turned out AMAZING!!! I love them all so much (thanks to brad of course!!) picking the ones out that we want fot the anouncement will be hard! We also did that today, picked out our anouncements and Douglas also got fit for his tux top lol since he is only wearing half a tux!! But he looks awesome in it!! I must say I have one hot hubby!! But we are getting there everything is pretty much taken care of, now it just needs to be October 9th so we can make it official!!!

Nervous.....

So I have never dated let alone planned on marrying someone who's job I have ever considered a dangerous one. Well Douglas's job scares me to death!!! I am constantly worried when I dont hear something back from him for awhile and we had been texting or talking back and forth all day!! Maybe I am just a worrier but I just get so nervous and anxious, especially when I know he is going to arrest someone or gets calle out to go take care of some crazy person! I always make him promise me that he will be careful and safe!! Cuz I kinda am in love with this man and if anything ever happened to him I dont know what I would do!!! As I sit here writing this he is off arresting some kids that broke into a school,(yes even that makes me nervous,sure they are just kids but kids today are creeps!!!) But he just text me to tell me that he was done with them so i can breathe again!!! :) Call me whatever you want, But when you love someone this much you cant not worry about them!!!

Amazing!!!

So Friday afternoon Douglas came over and was hanging out, I had to run outside and talk to my mom and our visiting teacher. I knew that he had the ring in my truck since he had showed it to me earlier. So I decided that I was going to be sneaky and go get the ring out of the truck to show to my mom, well he had taken the ring out of the box and hid it from me!! (he knows me waaayyy to well!!! :)) Well he came outside a few min later after talking to my dad about weather it was alright with him if he proposed to me. He pulled me over to the front lawn and told me how much he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of my life with me!! He then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!!!! Can I just say that it was the happiest freaking day of my life!!! He was made for me!! I could not have found a more perfect person for me in the entire world!! He is so calm and paitent and loves me so unconditionally!!! I have never ever been so happy before!!! I am the luckiest girl in the world to be able to spend the rest of my life with Douglas!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!! The date is set for October 9th!! After that Paityn and I will be moving to Wendover to be with him, He should be trasfered up here with in a year or so!!! I will keep you posted on whats going on!!

For Melissa

So my dear and darling sister Melissa informed me today that I needed to update my blog and that I was boring.... Oh so sorry!!! I mean its not like I dont have enough going on between work, school, trying to plan a wedding by october and still managing to be a mom and a girlfriend right!!?? Oh well my days are definately a little busy to be on here every day updating you on my life!!! Not that there is much new to share as it is anyways.. Douglas and I are planning on getting married on October 9th!!! So needless to say there is alot to be done between now and then!!! I will do my best to get on here and keep you all updated so that I am not "boring" as Melissa told me I am!!! :) But for now that is all that I have to say!!

and so her story begins.................

For so long I have set myself up to fail at the relationships that I had been in. It was so much easier for me to do rather than open up and give 100% percent of myself to someone, If I was expecting or waiting for it to fail or for something to go wrong then it always seemed not to hurt as much..... But I am not happy, I have ended up alone and hurt and confused wondering what had happened to get me where I was and left me feeling like I was never good enough for the person that I had been in the previous relationship with. Well this has all come to a screeching halt!!!! As I was driving to school last night it finally hit me and I finally realized and saw what I had been doing to myself and my relationships, I have come to the point where I dont want to play the game anymore and I definately am over being hurt!!! For the first time in seven years I am ready and willing to give my whole and complete self to the awesome and amazing guy that I have been dating!!! He is soooo good to me and I could not ask for more!!! He loves me for me, flaws and all and doesnt expect or want me to change who I am!!! This is such a good feeling, and I can honestly say that I am truely and the most genuinely happy that I have ever been in a relationship!!!! Its so good to know that this actually exists!!! I just pray that I can make this work and will not do anything to screw this up because I can honestly say that I never want to be without him!!!!! It had been so hard to let go of what Jake and I had, but I had to do it!!! Our relationship was not a healthy one and I can safely say that I am glad that chapter of my life is over and shut once and for all!!!! This is not a new chapter in my life that I am starting, This is a whole new book and I cant wait to see the ending in this one!!!!!!!

Paityn

Three years ago yesterday was by far the greatest day of my life!!! After 18 very long hours I was able to hold my beautiful and amazing little girl Paityn for the first time!!! I cant even begin to expain how wonderful and amazing that moment was for me. She has been by far the greatest blessing that my life has ever been givin. I would just like Paityn to know that I love her more than anything in this entire world and would do anything for her!!!!! You deserve so far much better than anything that I can give you at this moment but I am working to make things better for us and for you... So for now me loving you like crazy and smothering you with kisses and hugs will have to do until I am done with school!!! You are such an amzing, smart, sweet and beautiful little girl paityn and you mean the world to me!!! Thank you so much for picking to come me and our family baby girl!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

decisions....

Ok well to start things off, Yes Jake and I have broken up and are taking time to try to figure things out. Taking a step back and really looking at what our relationship was like and if it would be worth trying to fix and start over. Its been rough and I have felt like an emotional wreck the last few weeks. But its going to be for the best either way, or at least that is what I constantly have to keep telling myself. Jake was and is stillmy best friend and one of the sweetest guys that I have ever met. We just not be right for each other like we thought and it breaks my heart to have to admit that. He has been there basically every day for the last 8 months and has been so amazing to not only me but to my beautiful and amazing daughter!! More than anything I would like to thank Jake for teaching me alot about myself and showing me how much i can really handle and take in. No matter what happens you will always have a love in my life that no one will be able to replace!!! Im trying to stay positive and optimistic but it can get rough sometimes when I am alone, Since there is no need for me to be strong when I am alone right? Well wish me luck all as I try to figure my life out!!!

VACATION!!!!

This coming sunday I am finally going on a small vaction for about a week, GEEZ!!! Its about damn time!!! I havent been on one since I was a junior in high school!!!I cant wait, I am so excited!!! It will be so much fun to go boating with the family, go to vegas and just hang out by the pool with Paityn. This will be her very first vacation so that is another huge reason that i am sooo excited to go!!! I want to be able to take her on a vacation every summer and to make sure that she has awesome memories and fun times with her family! I need this so bad!!!!!!!!!!!! The last couple have months have been super hard and rough and this is just what i need to take some time to think about everything. I am so thankful for all my awesome friends and family who have helped me out through out all of this!!! I will let you know how the vacation goes when i get back!!!

Paityns Picture Day

I took Paityn to get her pictures taken today and I have to say that I think they turned out extremely cute!!! I was a little nervous about weather or not she woud be good and cooperate with whoever got the lucky job of snapping the pictures of the little spit fire, But just the same she was awesome!!!! She ate it up and loved every min of it!! Paityn thought that she was a princess, Which she was and is. She posed and cheesed and hammed it up quiet like I have never seen before!! All in all she was an angel and I was so proud of her for being suh a big girl and cooperating with us all day!!!! I LOVE YOU baby girl and I am so thankful that I am lucky enough to be able to be the one who is raising you!!! I will post the pictures as soon as we get them back!!

This pretty much sucks worse than anything!!

Well to make a very long and painful story short the wedding is now off. No I am not going to go into detail becasue honestly it makes me so phsically sick to think about I throw up. I feel betrayed, embarassed, hurt, shocked and annoyed!!! But at the same time I know that he is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with and if he needs more time, well then he can have it and I will wait until he is ready. But I cant keep doing this, If this is how things are going to continue to be I dont know how much longer I will be able to hold on honestly. It sucks because he is my best friend and the one person that while I was gone I wanted to talk to more than anyone. I am so thankful for my amazing sister and her unconditional love and support and being the one person that I know I can always cry on her shoulder and that her door is always open to Paityn and I. So for now we are going to try to smooth out the rough patches of our realtionship and continue to move forward the best that we can without breaking up all together. I would rather fight and argue with my best friend and love of my life than settle and fight with someone I dont reall care about. I also am dreading all the people that are still expecting us to be married in June and all the questions that I will be asked. I am not strong enought to handle it over and over again. That is going to be equally as hard as the original problem :( like I said, This sucks!!!

Just an update or 2

Ok just to let everyone know whats been going on, We set the wedding date for June 19th. Yes I am very much aware of how fast that is coming up. I feel a little overwhelmed with it all but we already have the depoist down for the decorations and the photographer. We are going this Saturday to look for a wedding dress, We are going to 2 different shops to try to find one. Hopefully we are lucky and can find one that I love without it going over my mom's budget that she has given me. Ummm lets see.......... What else is there, Oh I started school last week and so far so good. I am having a little bit of a hard time getting back into the swing of things. But I know that I do not want to be stuck at RC Willey for the rest of my life so this is the only way that I can really do what I feel passionate about. So I am going to give it all I have while still trying to get everything planned for our wedding, making sure I still spend lots of time with my precious little girl and continuing to work on my relationship with Jake. LOTS and LOTS going on right now. But I guess I cant really complain to much. I am so thankful for all of my many many blessings and all the wonderful people that I have in my life!!!! I love you all please continue to be paitent with me over the next couple months!!!

WE ARE ENGAGED!!!!!

So today Paityn and I were planning on going down to Jake's to spend the day and make dinner. Well right as I was getting ready to leave Jake text me and asked if it would be a possibility to have my mom watch Paityn for a little while, So I asked and my mom said that that was fine and she would. So I went down there and after a long time of digging through the snow, We are engaged!!!! Im so excited I cant even stand it!!! Yes I did say digging through the snow, Jakes dog got to the ring box right before he went to propose and she ate the box and lost the ring in the snow out back!!! Luckily after some digging we found it!!! It was stressful but oh so worth it!!! I can't wait to become Mrs. Jake Limburg!!!!!!!!!!!! He is my best friend and is so patient and loving!!! I am so very lucky to have found this amazing man to spend my life with!!!!

Ahhh Mr. Darcy

So really does it get better than the end of Pride and Prejudice when Mr. Darcy comes walking through the foggy field and his coat blowing back behind him, with that confident I am going to get what I want swagger going on!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH NO!!!! I dare say it does not get any better then that, Well ok maybe it does when he tells that you have bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love you!!!!! (sigh) I must say that I am a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE fan of Fitzwillam Darcy!!! Best part is that I dont even mind that he has such a crazy first name!!! All I know for sure is that they just do not make guys like this anymore that is for sure!!!!!

one more thing!!!

Check out my new "warm weather" playlist!!!! especially number 2 Fairy Tale by Blue October!!! It is amazing and I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! All these songs make me feel happy to go along with the warm weather!!!

LOVING THE SUN!!!!

So today has been an amazing day outside!!! The sun has been shining and its been dare I say a little on the hot side of things every now and then. Paityn and I watched Barbie as the island princess this morning and when it was over we went outside so that she could play she has been so cute, She of coarse got to be Ro the island princess while i got to be her three friends who just so happen to be a baby elephant, a red panda and a peacock!!!! Wow lets just say i never quite took enough drama in high school to be able to pull of such roles!!! (Jake was quite jealous and said that he would be all over playing the role of the red panda when he got home!) I just looked down and it might be safe to say that my albino skin actually got a little bit of color on it today, its quite pink!! But I wont get to excited cuz in ten more min it will be back to being extremely pale!!! I also got online to today to check ticket prices for the musical Wicked!! Its coming to the Capital Theater in April and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to go, Well the cheapest tickets that I could find were like 288.00 and that was for like a Tuesday matinee so needless to say my dream of seeing this musical will have to wait :( But thats all that I have to say for today and I wish you all a lovely evening as I am going to go back outside and reprise my roles of the elephant, panda and peacock!!! Wish me luck!!

Junior Miss

So yesterday my mom and I went and picked my sister up in Pocatello and went to lunch then went to watch my amazing cousin Paige compete in Blackfoot's Junior Miss Pageant, What can I say the girl is not only gorgeous to look at but she is just as beautiful on the inside!!!! For her talent she sang "Thats how you know" from the movie Enchanted...... SO FREAKING CUTE!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness I cant even get over it, The girl is AWESOME!!!! Of coarse she won, I mean come on there really was not even that much of a competion. I am so proud of her and know that she will do awesome in everything she does!! I cant wait until September to go watch her compete for the state title I will for sure be there cheering her on as loud as I can!!! GO PAIGE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

ready for spring!!!

Ok so I am sick to death of freezing my butt off every day!!! Where the heck is spring and the flowers and the start of it being warm!? I use to like winter, but this winter I absolutely hate it!!!! Grrrrrrr............ Maybe just maybe i will have to move to Hawaii or the Bahamas where i can be warm all the time or sit on a beach selling coconut bra's or something!!!! LOL oh wouldnt that be the life :) anyways I just had to complain about how cold I am for a moment and now I will be done!!!

New playlist!!

So after talking about the 80's movies and music I decided to make a new playlist with some of my favorite oldies music, Now I know that to like my sister and mom and the rest of my family most of these songs are not considered "oldies" but come on I am only 23 so to me they are older for me and not what I really listened to growing up. Well except Ace of Base when me and Shalee would pretend that we were the girls and go in my basement and tap dance to them! But that is a story for a different day!! So check out my new songs and please feel free to tell me what you think, I hope you enjoy them because I know that I do!!!!

She's like the wind~!

Just a fool to believe i have anything she needs, Ah does it really get any better than Dirty Dancing!!? Well if you ask me or my best friend Shalee we will straight up tell you NO!!!! Come on Johnny Castle!!! MMM Patrick Swayze in his prime yummy!!! Not to mention he sings the song she's like the wind, LOVE this song!!!! I have yet to make Jake sit through this movie with me yet and i am really not all that sure if he has seen it or not, But oh dont you worry the time will come when he has to watch all of our awesome 80's movies that Shalee and I have seen a million times at our 80's movie nights. They are the best movies anyways, Dirty Dancing, Some Kind of Wonderful, Pretty in Pink, Cant buy me love, 16 candles just to name a few!!! Oh and not to mention the music on all of them is freaking fantastic!!! Miss Amanda JOoooones!!!! Great song hahaha. Anyways if you have not seen any of these movies I highly recommend them all and challenge all of you to see them!!! Trust me it is so worth it, nothing can warm your heart and bring a big smile to your face like a cheesy 80's movie!!!!

DEE and DUMB

So my sister had a doctors apt today in salt lake so her husband and my mom went with her. I told her that i would keep her kids while they are gone, well tess is at my brothers house playing with my niece, so who does that leave me with!? Dee and Dumb!!!! Paityn and Parker could pass as twins they look identical and act it too!! The only difference is Parker is about a year older than Paityn!! Oh my I might lose my mind before the day is over, it started off ok with them both sitting in the recliner watching a movie. But it has now turned into an argument match bewteen the 2 about who is in time out or not!! The best part is.............. NEITHER of them are in time out!!! Oh geez they make me so tired. They just go from room to room destorying it lol, I would die if i ever have twins, Pretty sure my sanity could not do it!!! Well wish me luck in my fun adventure for the day!!! I will need it!!!

alone

How do i get you ALONE, Oh how i love this song by heart!!! every year on american idol one of the power house girls with amazing voices sings it and it always reminds me just how freaking awesome of a song it truely is!!! I love it!!! And the girl that sang it on Wednesday was the first one that was put into the top 12 for their night!!! She was awesome and she is only 16!! Wow if i could sing like that my life would be a musical, Poor Jake hates American idol but he was a good sport and sat there and pretended to be interested in it!!! He is so dang cute!!! Anyways i just had to make a little comment on how freakingly awesome and amazing this song truely is!!! And if for some awful reason you have never heard it!!! Look it up and listen to it!!!! Soooooooooooo worth it!!

Not my day!!!

So I pretty much hate everything about today!!!! If I could quit or resign from life I would put in my resignation letter today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I hate my left side!!! It always hurts so dang bad!!!! Work was long and I could not get out of there fast enough, Then dont even get me going on all the issues Jake and I seem to be having at the moment but I'm beyond sick of them too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dont get me wrong I love him with all my heart but lately its just not working like we both know it can and it is getting beyond OLD!!!!!! Things had been going so so so so good and I was starting to think and hope that we were back on track!! oh wait nope sorry my bad that's me getting ahead of myself and getting my hopes up once again!!!! Silly, silly, stupid girl!!!! (thats me for ya!!!) Then to top it off my sister who we all know I adore and love so very much got some bad news today and that has me even more bummed out then before I got home!!!! I miss her, so maybe I will have to take an adventure up there to see her in the next day or two since I have them both off. Anyways lets hope that tomorrow will be better than today!!! And surely not worse!!!!!!

if i were a boy........

I think i could understand.......

Beyoncé - New Music - More Music Videos

but your just a boy.... and you dont understand.............

Back to school!!!

So after taking a 9 month break from school (one that i never should have taken in the first place!!!!) I have finally got my butt back into gear and called my enrollment counselor and set up an appointment for next Wednesday with him to go get back into school!!! Hurray!!! I have been having such a hard time trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up, I love psychology and everything that it involves and thats what i had originally been taking classes for before i quit. But lately I have had a case of the "I dont want to get my masters, it takes way to long itis" yes I know it's a very serious disease!!! So i was trying to think of some other career that doesnt take to much brain power or schooling, and then it hit me!! I'll be a High School teacher!!! Now dont get me wrong im not saying that just anyone can be a teacher (trust me many of the teachers i had in high school should have reconsidered their job choice!!) or that you are not smart by choosing to be one!! All I am saying is that it takes what 2 maybe 3 years to become a teacher..... ok maybe 4. But still thats a heck of a lot quicker than getting my masters right!? WRONGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! the school that I plan on attending does not offer a secondary education degree in the bachelors program!!! You still have to get a masters!!!!!!!!!! GAH!!!! I cant escape it!! So do you wanna know what I did? Well I will tell you, I let my very short lived dream of becoming a high school teacher die out quite quickly(it was a very tearful and heart wrenching goodbye!!) and asked my enrollment counselor to get me set back up to do the psychology route!!! Shoot I figure if I have to get my Masters degree either way then it's going to be in something that I love and find interesting!!! So wish me luck over the next couple weeks as I try my best to get back into the swing of things!!!

Weddings, weddings, weddings..............

So today my brother Spencer is getting remarried, it's been kind of an adjustment to get use too. He got a divorce from his first wife and we all loved her to death but when its not there its just not there and no matter how hard they tried (oh and they did try for 6 years to make it work) it just was not going to work. They were like best friends who lived with each other and tolerated the other one for the most part or so it seemed to our family. But now he has met someone that he loves very much and they seem to be really happy together. She is a super sweet and nice women and i think or at least really hope that it works out for the two of them and that they can spend the rest of their lives together! No one deserves more to be happy than Spencer, he is so good and kind and just needs a little affection shown to him and he will be the happiest person alive. So i wish them good luck on their new adventure and hope for the best!! I just pray that i will never have to be in that situation myself where i am divorced or worse a widow. I really dont think that i would ever want to remarry! Because that involves dating, and let me tell you how much i love the dating scene hahaha. Thankfully i have Jake, and he has told me that i'm not going anywhere without a fight from him :) So i guess i am set for the rest of my life! THANK GOODNESS!!!

My life would suck without you!!

Ok so valentines day is coming up and all so everyone will be posting something sweet and nice about their significant others. Well heres the thing, i HATE valentines day probably more than any other holiday that there is. So i figured i would be ahead of the curve for once and post mine today!! So i thought that maybe i would write some of the things that i love the very most about Jake and just make a little list, So here goes..........................

* You are my best friend and the one person i truely turn to when im upset or sad or mad. It doesn't matter what the situation you are always there and willing to listen and give me advice and i love it!!
*You adore my daughter as if she were your own. I know that the plan is that she will be yours after we get married. You have no idea how much that means to me, that you not only have taken me in and loved me so unconditionally but that you have done the same for paityn!!
*You are my dork! I absolutely love it, you make me laugh so hard and i love when we can be playful and joke around with each other.
*You wont ever let me leave mad, as much as i hate it in that moment im always so thankful that you make me stay and work everything out with you!!
*You are without a doubt one of the most thoughtful and selfless people i have ever met, you constantly are always doing nice sweet things for me.
*As much as i complained about it in the beginning, I love how much you want to be next to me or holding my hand or rubbing my leg. It still bugs me every now and then but in the end i truely love it!!
* I love that you pretend to be interested in all the wedding plans and how you always tell me that you like my ideas or think that something will look good!!

Ok so this is a very short list of some of the many reasons that i love you, But i have a very impatient Paityn who is ready to come down and see you right now!! So i just want to tell you Jake that i love you with all my heart. You mean the world to me and i am so lucky to have you as my best friend and future husband!! its the best feeling ever!!

MY FIRST BLOG!!!

So here we go, my first blog experience! I figure its the least I can do considering how many nice things my beautiful girlfriend/best friend Emilee has said about me on here. Well mostly nice things that is... kidding babe! And about wearing the suit from Mama Mia at our wedding... If she actually let me wear that with my chest hanging out I'd wonder about her fashion sense and letting her plan anything else, then I'd have to take over and do it myself... yeah right! That could end in disaster. But on a more serious note I couldn't be happier with the decisions she has made so far! I know I could do a litte more but when it comes to all the details and small stuff like colors and flowers she is a pro! I just hope she knows that I'm more than happy to do whatever is needed. There's just so much I dont even know where to start! So just ask babe and I'll gladly do it. I cant express enough how much I LOVE this girl!!! Emilee and Paityn have brought a joy and happiness into my life that I never could have imagined. And I am so thankful for that, I couldn't ask for more.

The winner takes it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The loser has to fall!!!! Ok so i totally have to agree with my sissy missy that mamma mia is probably one of the funnest movies ever to watch!!! You cant help but smile while watching it, not to mention sing at the top of your lungs!!! My favorites have to be mamma mia, super trooper and the winner takes it all!!!! I love that song!!! Meryl Streep is so cute and looks amazing when she sings that song. Not to mention that any girl who has been dumped by some loser guy knows all to well how true this song is! Especially the part near the end when she says "I dont wanna talk because it makes me feel sad, and i understand you've come to shake my hand. I apologize if it makes you feel bad seeing me so tense, no self confidence but you see the WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLLLLL, the game is on again a lover or a friend, a big thing or a small the winner takes it all!!!!!!!!!!!" (Yes i was singing that as i wrote it!!!)That song says it all, its ture and to the point and that it why it is my favoite!! Its such a good movie and makes me feel better whenever i watch it!!! Poor jake had to watch it last night while we were watching my brothers kids, he is such a good sport about everything. Im so lucky!! But he did get some sweet ideas for what he wants to wear to our wedding, lol he wants a white suit with his shirt unbuttoned like sky's at the end, what do ya think???? let me know hahaha!!!

stupid fairytales!!!!

Ok so i have to the ask the question, Will it ever just be easy or go smoothly?!! Life that is, I am so sick of everything right now at this point!!! I hate my job, Jake confuses the hell out of me 99% of the time and i just really would like to know if its ever going to stop or get easier!!? I think i deserve it , maybe thats my problem is that i just want so badly to finally be really really fairy tale stupidly happy. Maybe thats just it maybe there is no such thing as a happy ending or happily ever after (lol if thats the case then i will be needing to change the name of my blog!!!) ok so maybe i am a little over emotional this week, but i still want my prince charming (that would be you jake!!) to sweep me off my feet and reassure me that i am without a doubt the princess in his fairytale!!! Honestly is that just way to much to ask for? I'm really hoping not but im really starting to have my doubts about all this fairybook romance and love story deal. If there is no such thing then paityn is going to start watching batman and xmen tomorrow!! Ok so i think that i am done crying and being a baby for the day!!! thank you all for letting me vent!!

getting to know you!!!

Ok so i thought for my first real official blog i would let all of you who may not know us that well get to know a little more about us.

PAITYN:
Is all girl!! she loves baribe and the barbie movies, if anything might involve a princess then she is all for it!
Oh if only life were really a musical, oh wait for paityn it is!! she constantly walks around singing at the top of her lungs. She loves to sing how does she know from chinchanted (enchanted), any song from any of the barbie movies, to any song she hears on the radio!!
Loves, loves, loves, her mema and papa!!! she love to spend time with them while i am at work, she has her papa right where she wants him and can do no wrong!!
She is my best little friend and i am so lucky to have been blessed with this precious and wonderful little girl, i would hate to imagine my life without her!!

Jake:
Is AMAZING!!!!! I love him so, so, much!! He is my best friend and i know that he will always be there for me no matter what!!!
He has such a big heart and has not only taken me in with all the love in his heart, but he is crazy about paityn and is so good with and to her!!! The feeling is mutual on paityn's part as well! she is always wanting to go to jakes.
Jake works at Hill Airforce Base and has a really good job there working on the jet engines.
He loves to work on things and is always fixing stuff up around his house!! (boy was i lucky to find such a handy man!!!)
He LOVES to go wheeling in his truck and take it up in the mountains or down to moab to rock climb!! He took me on a small one on our first date and i think i decided then that it was not for me! Jake comes from a family very similar in size to mine! He has four older brothers all that fall into the same age groups as my siblings and then Jake is the youngest, he has amazing parents that have done nothing but make paityn and i feel welcome into their family!! I love his family and am so lucky to have them.

And then there was me!! well if you havent figured it out yet, I am Emilee. I am 23 and work for RC Willey, is it my dream job? No, not by any means but it is a good place to work while i try to get my butt back in gear and get back into school!! I want to go into Psychology and evetually be a therapist of some sort. I had Paityn when i was 20 and no it might not have been the right time, and definately not with the right person (hahaha) but i would not take it back for anything in this world!! she changed my life so much for the better and i love that little girl more than anything!! I come from a family of seven, i have 3 older brothers who growing up were very typical brothers, but now that we are all grown are some of the best men that i know!!! I also have one older sister, who i love so freaking much!! she is my best friend!! I know that i can go to her over anything and she will be there for me, she might not always agree with my decisons but she will still be there to comfrot me and let me and paityn crash on her couch for the weekend (which i have done several times) most people go on vacations to escape reality, i run away to Pocatello hahahaha!!! All in all she is my hero and i look up to her in so many ways, she is so kind and strong, she has been dealt some unfair cards in life and she still manages to stay so positve!! she is awesome!!!
My parents are both great people, they have always been there to help me with whatever i needed and have stood by me and help me get through things when i thought for sure i wouldn't make it!! They are both so strong and have been the best parents that anyone could ever ask for!! I was very lucky to have been blessed with the awesome family that i have!! I love them all!!

Well i think thats about it, im sure that you will all come to learn so much more about us in the future, so hang on and enjoy the ride!!! :)

WHATS YOUR WORD???

Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people. Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love. You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love. And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

What's" Your Word?

here we go......

Well ok so everyone i know has one of these now days, my mom, my sister, people i work with and several of my friends! So i figured why not, i have plenty of stuff to say from day to day!! I might as well have an outlet for it right!! well wish me luck!!! :)